Without you
by greydaysohmy
Summary: Four Years after her divorce, Ana Steele is living a new life in London with Teddy & Phoebe. She continues to try and rebuild her life but the shadow of Christian Grey always seems to stop her from truly moving on. This is kind of a cheat fic but more a reconciliation fic!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've not written for the 50 shades trilogy before and I'm not sure I will continue with it but unfortunately I'm ill, in bed, a bit bored with not much else to do.**

**First I have to say that I love all the 50 shades fics out there, I apologise if it's a bit rubbish and characteristion is a wrong.**

**This is kind of a cheat fic but more of a reconciliation fic as I wanted to explore if Ana & Christian did split up due to cheating, how would they reconcile.  
**

**Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors  
**

**Everything belongs to E L James.  
**

xxxxxxx

"_How long has it been going on?"_

_His lips moved but no sound came out of his mouth. _

"_ANSWER ME! How long?"_

"_Baby, I'm sorry..."_

"_Don't 'Baby' me. How long Christian? How long have you been fucking her?" Ana said trying desperately to control her fury. She looked down at the scattered photographic evidence of her husbands betrayal that was laid across the table. Her eyes focused on the picture of Christian with his arm around the unknown woman, leaning in to kiss the top of her head. _

"_I...I...damn it Ana! Six weeks. It's been going on for six weeks."_

_Ana staggered backwards, she felt as though Christian stabbed her through her heart with a knife._

"_Why?"_

"_I don't know why, it just happened ok? I was lonely, you and the kids were away and I..."_

"_Do you love her?" She interrupted. _

"_This is getting us fucking nowhere!" He ran both his has through his hair and moved to turn away in frustration._

"_You owe me an answer, you owe me that much. Please Christian...do you love her?" Her voice broke as she desperately trying to stop the tears from falling. _

_He looked at her then; gray eyes to blue. He didn't need to say anything, the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know._

_Xxxxxxxxxxx_

Ana Steele watched as the rain lashed relentlessly against the window of her sixth floor office. The weather had been abysmal lately and she wondered why she had moved to London in the first place.

_'To put an ocean between you and him.' _Her inner goddess chided.

It had been four long years since that fateful conversation, since her heart had been broken. Ana had walked away from the love of her life that day, taking Teddy and Phoebe with her. Christian had dropped to his knees and pleaded with her not to leave him but she had somehow found the strength to walk out of the door and not look back.

She did not remember arriving on Kate and Elliott's doorstep with the children. She remembered being taken into the family room where she calmly explained that she and Christian had had a fight. Her façade crumbled when Phoebe innocently asked where her daddy was. Kate had been brilliant, quickly sending Teddy and Phoebe off to play with Ava; she and Elliott had then listened as Ana told them what had really happened. Kate had held her in a comforting embrace rocking her back and forth while Ana sobbed on her shoulder. Elliott had stormed out of the house, returning a few hours later with blooded knuckles and a black eye. Eventually Ana had fallen asleep exhausted.

The next day she filed for divorce.

The last couple of years had been spent trying to rebuild her life; she had sold Grey Publishing and with the proceeds had initially moved to New York. A chance meeting with Agatha Statten owner of Black Books Publishing had led to a job offer in London. Which is why Anastasia Rose Steele, formerly Grey, now found herself watching the gray, swirling clouds from her office on this miserable summers day.

Phoebe and Ted, now 8 and 10 respectively, had quickly settled into their new life in England and seemed to be thriving there. Phoebe had even picked up a very cute English accent and insisted on pronouncing everything the English way. Thus mommy became mummy, fall became Autumn, sidewalk became pavement and candy became sweets. Teddy had remained the all American boy but she had noticed a few 'Englishisms' creep into his conversations with her.

The children were currently spending their school vacation with their father and family in Seattle. They were due to come back from the States any day now; her parents Ray and Carla and Carla's husband Bob would be bringing them back and spending a few weeks with her and the kids before returning home. She was looking forward to seeing her babies again, she had missed them so much.

Last night Ana had spent a few hours talking to them over Skype. They had looked happy, although Teddy was not his normal boisterous self. She replayed the conversation with him in her head.

"_Everything ok Tedbear? You seem terribly quiet, are you having a good time?"_

"_Yeah, It's been great but I miss you Mommy."_

"_I miss you too baby boy."_

"_Daddy misses you too. Why aren't you together anymore?"_

"_Teddy." She said in warning "We've spoken about this..."_

"_He does miss you Mom, I heard him talking to Uncle Lelliott!"_

"_Ted, you really shouldn't have listened into Daddy's and Uncle Elliot's private conversation..."_

"_but Mommy, he said that the the biggest mistake in his life was losing you and that he still loved you and then he used a naughty word...he said he'd really fucked..."_

"_THEODORE RAYMOND GREY!" She'd admonished, not quite believing her ten year old son had used that word . It also distracted her from the simple fact that she still loved Christian too, despite what he had done._

Ana had not spoken to Christian once in those four years. She avoided his phone calls, blocked his emails, sent back his flowers, avoided reading about him in the gossip columns and on the internet. Of course those same gossip columns had had a field day once they had learnt of the breakdown of her marriage, which is why she now no longer read them. She shuddered as she recalled seeing her heartbreak being laid bare across the pages of the glossy magazines, how they had called her a gold digger and revelled in every gory detail. Somehow the pictures of Christian and his mistress (who's name she learnt was Megan Tate) had been leaked and of course there was the rumor that Megan was expecting the new baby grey, which only added to her heartbreak. The rumor, thankfully, turned out to be just that a malicious rumor.

Now the only contact she and Christian now had was via lawyers. From what Kate told her she knew that he had broken his relationship off with his mistress and had not married again. Kate didn't think he had had any new relationships at all, which she had found hard to believe. Kate didn't know that he had probably had numerous subs during that time.

Ana felt that she was currently living the life of a nun, albeit a naughty one with a vibrator. She had had a brief, fun but ultimately unfulfilling relationship with a man named Richard Thorson. Richard had been great, just what she needed at the time. He had made her feel sexy and wanted again but he couldn't match up to Christian's sexual prowess. He remained, to this day, the only other man she had been intimate with. Their affair had burnt brightly but had fizzled out after a few weeks; they mutually decided that they were best off as friends. She had sworn off relationships after Richard but that did not stop Agatha, Richard and her other London friends from trying to set her up on dates...

"Ana, there you are. Are you ok?" She turned to see the concerned face of Agatha.

"Just thinking Aggie." She sighed wistfully.

"About what exactly?"

"How much my life has changed in the last ten years. "

"Well darling , life has a habit of throwing lemons and assorted detritus at everyone and you know what I do?"

"Make lemonade" Ana smiled.

"Exactly, now I need to talk you privately." She said as she shut the door.

"Of course, is everything ok?"

"Yes and no but I wanted you to hear this from me and not from some email that will be going round in a few short weeks."

"Sounds serious."

"It is, unfortunately but I will get straight to the point...I've sold Black Books."

"What? Why?" Ana countered, she was sure that the shock she felt was evident on her face. Aggie lived for Black Books...Aggie WAS Black Books.

"Frankly, I've received an offer that I cannot refuse and lets face it I'm not getting any younger!" She laughed "There is an embargo at the moment, so I can't tell you about the new owner but I can tell you that I will stay on as a director and over see the day to day running the operation. I can also tell you that we will be receiving a visit from our new lord and master within the next few days..."

Ana felt her head swim... Why did she have such a sense of foreboding about this?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I would like to say a massive thank you for all the lovely reviews, follows and favourites! I really did not expect such a fantastic response :) To be honest I've never received this many hits for one of my stories in one day. It it has certainly spurred me on to write a second chapter with Christian as the main focus. It might be a bit painful to read (it was certainly painful to write) but I need to get the cheating out of the way to move forward to the good stuff. I hope you enjoy it as much as the last one.**

**Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Everything belongs to E.L. James, I'm just a fan.**

**Xxxxxxxxx**

Christian Grey gently caressed the face in the photograph that remained at all times on his desk. It had been taken in a happier time, a time when he hadn't been a fool, a time when he hadn't royally fucked up his life. He gazed at the photo of Ana and him taken on their honeymoon and wished he could just turn back the clock. He still could not fathom why he had done it. He had vowed to be always faithful to Ana on their wedding day; Christian couldn't understand why he had broken that vow.

'_Don't kid yourself Grey. Of course you fucking know why you did it.'_

At the time Christian had felt bored, bored with family life; he had craved something fresh, something new. He had felt like his life was stagnating. He knew now that this had been nothing but a pathetic excuse. With the benefit of hindsight Christian could see when the cracks had started to appear. He and Ana had been arguing quite a lot at the time; Ana had wanted a third child and he did not, several big deals had turned sour, Phoebe had been acting up and his father had had a major heart scare. In short he had lost control.

Then one day Andrea had called in a sick and a new intern from accounts had been sent up to help Olivia out. Megan Tate, with her long brown hair and hazel eyes, had been in the right place at the wrong time. He remembered her walking into his office for the first time with his morning coffee and papers; his cock had twitched at the sight of her. He knew he had affected her when she had nearly spilt his coffee all over his desk due to her hands shaking so much, her face had also turned a deep shade of red. Christian knew then that he wanted her.

He resisted her for all of two weeks before he had broken his number one cardinal rule of not fucking the staff.

It had been exciting at first, the secret looks at work; the furtive sex in his office, at his apartment, in the R8...Quite frankly, he had enjoyed the double life and he had genuinely thought that his actions wouldn't hurt anyone. He also didn't think that anyone would find out about the affair but he was wrong. In a severe lapse of judgement, Christian had started to take Megan out in public, he told himself at the the time that he was in love with her. He had given Megan vanilla and he had started to give Megan _more_.

Christian realised too late that it was lust not love that he felt and he had realised it oh so painfully when Ana had confronted him and left him. The look of hurt on her beautiful face when he admitted what he had done still plagued his dreams. The nightmares of his childhood were now replaced by the nightmare of that night.

He knew that after she had left she had gone to Kate and Elliott's. He had sported the black eye his brother had given him that night for weeks. It had taken months for Elliott and Kate to speak to him again and even then it was only to be civil in front of the children. Mia and his parents had been slightly more forgiving but only slightly. He hated seeing the look of disappointment on his Mom and Dad's face. It had slowly dawned on him that he had not only hurt Ana with his infidelity, he had hurt Teddy, Phoebe, his parents...

_'Jesus H Christ, I hurt my whole fucking family.'  
_

Christian had ended his relationship with Megan straight away; she had naturally been very upset but had surprised him when she had refused any financial recompense. All she asked for was a good reference as she felt that her position at GEH was no longer tenable. He felt safe in the knowledge that she had signed an NDA. However, the shit had truly hit the fan when their affair had become public knowledge and he saw his whole mess of a life played out in the pages of the tabloids and the glossy magazines.

Pictures of him and Megan kissing, holding hands and eating at restaurants had started to appear everywhere. There had even been speculation that Megan was pregnant with his child. He knew this wasn't the case just because he had always used condoms with her. He had also, rather discreetly, gotten her to see Dr Greene who confirmed that Megan was definitely not pregnant.

He had tried to use his vast resources to put a block on the matter escalating but everyday more and more details of the his grubby little affair were exposed. It got even worse when, to his eternal shame, pictures of him having sex with Megan in his car appeared on the internet.

By far the worst of it was seeing his beautiful wife being vilified by the press. It broke his heart to see pictures of his Ana looking gaunt and pale and for her to be called a golddigger. He had tried to contact her but all his attempts had been rebuffed. He desperately wanted to beg her forgiveness, he wanted to tell her that would never do anything like that again, that he had screwed up, that he would do everything and anything in his power to make things right.

Christian thought she would forgive him eventually, he wanted to prove to her that he had changed. He did not believe for one minute that she would go through with the divorce, their love for each other was too strong . He thought that they would find a way towards the light together but it was not to be. He had finally accepted that he had lost her when she and the children had moved to New York and then to London.

_'What was that saying? When you truly love someone, have the strength to set them free'._

So he had...he had set her free. He did not contest the divorce, he agreed to all her terms and four years he had left her alone. He had vowed then to live the life of a saint and he had; No sex, no subs, nothing... for four very long years. He promised himself that he would not contact her, to let her live her life but that did not mean that he could not keep tabs on her, she was the mother of his children after all.

Christian idly played with his wedding ring which he still wore.

The situation had changed when he had found out about her recent fling with one Richard Thorson. It had taken weeks for the damage in his office to be repaired, so total was it's destruction. He was tormented at nights with images of another man fucking her, making her scream in pleasure. The mere thought of another touching what was his and his alone had spurred him into action. He knew that that he was about to lose her forever and Christian Trevelyn Grey was not prepared to do that. He loved her too much.

She would not talk to him directly, so he did the only thing he could think of to get her to speak to him. He bought the company she worked for in London .

**A little end note – Just like E.L. James, I am English and I have tried to use American spellings and words as per the books. I may slip up from time to time so please forgive me! **

**If you were wondering where I got the title of the fic, I have a habit of randomly picking a title or lyric from a song I like. 'Without you' comes from the song When Love and Hate Collide by Def Leppard, the lyrics of which are quite apt I think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: WOW, Thank you once again for your wonderful reviews and PM's. Also thank you so much for all of your favourites and follows. I have been truly blown away by the response this has had! You have all been so lovely and supportive, it really inspires me. I hope you continue to enjoy this story. **

**I'm not too happy with this chapter and i'm sure that there are lots of errors. It you spot them let me know!  
**

**It all belongs to E.L. James  
**

Xxxxxxx

"_Grey"_

"_Mr Grey, I have the information for you as requested."_

"_Proceed."_

"_From what I can gather the company Ms. Steele is now working for has run into financial difficulties. I have taken the liberty to discreetly inquire as to whether the owner of the company would be inclined to sell."_

"_And?"_

"_It appears that she is more than willing to do so."_

"_I want the details as soon as possible."_

"_I'm sending them to you now Mr Grey." _

Christian leant back in his seat, a small smile dancing across his face as he thought how easy that part of his plan been. He had expected to meet with some resistance from Black Books Publishing. In fact he was fully prepared for the long, arduous negotiations involved in a hostile take over bid but had been pleasantly surprised when Mrs Statten had excepted his offer straight away.

"45 minutes until we land Mr Grey." The voice of the air stewardess interrupted his thoughts.

"Thank you um..."

"Elizabeth, Sir but everyone calls me Betty."

"Thank you Betty." He flashed her his full mega watt smile and watched as she practically melted into a puddle on the cabin floor.

_'Yeah, yeah It's just a face Betty, just a pretty face with an ugly soul...' _

"Can I get you anything for you Mr Grey?" She said recovering quickly.

_'I think I've unbalanced the poor girl.' _He noted with wry amusement. "No, that will be all."

"Very good Mr Grey." She turned a hurried as quickly as possible back to the galley, leaving him again to his thoughts.

This was the second trip to London that the GEH jet had made within the last five days. The first flight had taken his beautiful children safely back to Ana in London. He desperately missed not being with them on a permanent basis. Yes, he spoke to them over Skype virtually every day and he saw them over the school vacations but it just wasn't the same. Every time he saw them in the flesh they had grown up that little bit more; actually they were growing up a bit too quickly in his opinion. His little angel Phoebe, so much like Ana but with his gray eyes and Teddy... well Teddy was Christian Grey mark two according to everyone. Just recently his mother had remarked on how much Ted was like him in both looks and temperament.

'_I hope not for your sake Ted Bear.'_

Christian often wondered whether he and Ana would have had more children if they had stayed together. He hoped that they would have. He imagined that, with the amount of sex that they used to have, they would have had at least two more and maybe another on the way. One of his major regrets was denying Ana the third child that she had so badly wanted. The child would have been about three now...

'_but you just couldn't keep your dick in your pants could you, dickshit? You fucking destroyed everything that was good and right in your life. Congratulations Mr Grey.'_

He promised himself that if Ana did forgive him and he was lucky enough for her to take him back, then the first thing he would do would be to give her the child that he had denied her. If she still wanted another child that is...

His thoughts were interrupted once again when the seatbelt light came on. The disembodied voice of Stephen the pilot filled the cabin.

"Mr Grey. You need to fasten your seatbelt now, we are beginning our decent into London Heathrow."

xxxxxxxxxx

Ana stood for a long while studying herself in the full length mirror of her bedroom. She turned this way and that examining every inch of her body. She didn't think she looked to bad for a mother of two, pushing on 33.

Ana knew full well that men still found her attractive. What had Gareth in legal called her the other day? Oh yes, a MILF. She didn't know what MILF meant and had had to ask her P.A. Jenna what it stood for. The look on Jenna's face as she spelt it out to her was priceless but it was probably matched by Ana's own look horror as she did so. She made a point of avoiding Gareth after that.

It was her first day back to work after a four day long weekend. She had picked up Teddy, Phoebe and her parents from Heathrow on the Friday and had spent the whole weekend catching up with everyone. The kids had been so excited telling her about what they had got up to. Unfortunately, there had been a little moment when Phoebe had been upset because she missed her daddy but Ana had assured her that daddy loved her very much and she would see him again soon.

Her Mom, Ray and Bob were taking the kids to Legoland, Windsor today and they had left at the crack of dawn. As her personal security team would be going with them, it had given Ana a bit of freedom for the day. Having 24/7 personal protection was one of the many downsides to being the ex-wife of a billionaire but if it meant that it kept her children safe then she was happy to lose that little bit of independence.

She arrived at the office at 8.30am and smiled when she saw that Jenna had thoughtfully placed a cup of tea on her desk; she then set to work catching up with her assorted emails and reading various manuscripts. So engrossed was she one story in particular, that she jumped when she someone knocked on the door.

"Come in."

The door swung open to reveal Agatha standing there but she could see that there was someone standing behind her friend. She thought she may have been mistaken but she could swear that Aggie was bit flustered. One thing she had quickly learnt when she had first started at Black Books was that Agatha Statten **did not** do 'flustered'.

"Aggie, Is everything ok?"

"Yes, yes. I'm just giving our new boss a grand tour of the building and I've brought him to meet you." Aggie smiled, she then moved to the side to let the other person through the door, allowing Ana to get her first glimpse of new owner of Black Books Publishing.

**I'm using this end bit as I wanted to ask you all a question.**

**Who do you see playing Christian Grey in the film version? **

**I'm torn between Ian Somerhalder & Matt Bomer at the moment. Although, when I write this I imagine Matt as Christian... **

**PS – MILF stands for Mother i'd like to fuck (incase you where wondering!)**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Again thank you so much for your fabulous response to this story. I'm still in shock at how well it's been received!**_

_**Thank you also for all your responses to the Christian Grey question. It looks like Matt Bomer is the Christian Grey of choice for the majority.**_

_**Just to let you know that I will not be able to update everyday like I have been but I hope to get future chapters out as soon as I can. Unfortunately real life does tend to get in the way of writing and this chapter took forever to write..**_

_**This is unbetaed, any mistakes are my own.**_

_**It all belongs to E.L. James.**_

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

"Mr Grey, I'd like to introduce you to our senior editor, Ana Steele." Agatha said gesturing for Christian to step further into Ana's office.

Ana sat stock still at her desk, not quite believing her eyes; for there, in front of her, stood the man who had broken her heart so completely. Emotions that she had successfully buried for years suddenly burst through their imaginary dam and flooded her into her. Anger, hurt, lust and love all combined into a swirling maelstrom that momentarily confused her and disabled her ability to speak. She shut her eyes for a few moments, hoping beyond hope that this was a bad dream; but no, he was still standing there when she opened them again.

Christian appeared not to have changed at all since she had last seen him. He was still devastatingly handsome, although his unruly dark copper hair was a bit shorter. It was also apparent to her that he had been working out more; he seemed more muscular, more powerful, even more god like.

Her disloyal inner goddess swooned into a faint.

Ana's eyes met his as he stepped forward with his hand extended. She could see that he was in full CEO mode. His face remained completely neutral, not giving away any hint of recognition or emotion. He was wearing a dark gray Savile Row suit with a silver gray tie; it took her a couple of seconds to realise that he was wearing _that _gray tie...their gray tie.

_'The arrogant prick!' _

"Ana's been such an asset to us since she first arrived. She's from the Seattle area too I believe. I'm sure you'll find that you both have lots in common..." Agatha airily carried on completely oblivious to the charged tension that filled the small room.

"_Ms. _Steele." He said emphasising the Ms.

"Mr Grey." She stood to acknowledge him but ignored his outstretched hand.

_'Is that all I get you asshole? No "Hey Anastasia, sorry I broke your heart. Oh and by the way I'm really sorry for fucking that perky little Yale grad slut repeatedly on my desk while you were at home looking after OUR children" then?' _Ana thought, her anger was now rising to fever pitch. She took a few deep calming breaths. '_Don't let him see he's got to you._ _You can do this, just keep your cool, Steele.' _

His eyes roamed over her body, taking her in curves. He met her cool gaze again with a burning intensity that bypassed her anger and went straight to her treacherous groin. The air around them felt oppressive, like the feeling you get just before a thunderstorm.

"From what Mrs Statten tells me, you are quite the rising star of the company Ms Steele and I will look forward to taking a personal interest in your career here." Christian paused letting the implications of his words sink in.

_'Oh I see now, you want to play that game Mr Grey? Ok then lets play.' _Her subconscious was already strapping on the boxing gloves and rolling her neck in preparation for the fight. "I don't doubt you will Mr Grey."

"May I ask why you came to London? You are a long way from home Ms Steele." He coolly continued.

Ana knew that to Aggie this would seem like polite, dis-interested conversation with an employee but she understood what he was really asking all too well.

"Would you like my honest answer Mr Grey?"

He nodded in acquiescence.

"After my divorce, I wished to put as much distance between myself and my ex-husband as possible." She said flatly, "I had and continue to have no desire to ever see him again."

She saw his jaw tense and his eyes darken to a stormy gray; his CEO demeanor was beginning to slip.

'_Round one to me'_.

"And you Mr Grey, why buy a publishing house in foreign county? Why Black Books? Surely, there were firms in the States that would have been of more interest to you."

"It was simply a case of wanting to expand into Europe, Ms Steele and the perfect opportunity arose with this company . Also my children are here and I'll now be able to see them on a more regular basis, not just school vacations." Christian said pointedly. "I'm here today to assure everyone that Black Books Publishing is in very safe hands with me. I always look after what is _mine_."

They continued to glare at it other, blue eyes to gray.

"Well, I think we should be moving on. We've got quite a lot to see." Aggie suddenly interrupted, making Ana jump. She had forgotten that she was still was standing there.

"Yes, of course. It's a pleasure to meet you Ms Steele."

"I wish I could say the same Mr Grey."

He smirked then, the bastard actually smirked before turning to walk out of her office. Aggie looked to Ana with a raised eyebrow, silently asking 'What was that?', Ana mouthed 'I'll tell you later' and watched as Aggie followed Christian.

She shakily sank back down into her office chair and put her head in her hands; it was S.I.P all over again. She felt bruised from her encounter with Christian. He obviously wanted to be involved in her life again but why? It had been years since she had last seen him. Their meeting today had served as a reminder of how deeply hurt she still felt over his betrayal. The saying 'to err is human, to forgive is divine.' sprang to her mind. Maybe enough time had passed for them to at least be friends for the children's sake...

Her revere was broken by the vibration of her cell phone. She picked it up to read the message and promptly rolled her eyes when she read Jenna's text;

***What a dish! :D xxxx***

Just as she was about to put the phone back in her desk drawer, she noticed that she had received another text message; this time from an unknown number. It simply said;

***Laters Baby***

_'Oh my...' _She thought as she smiled despite herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you once again lovely people for all the reviews, PM and favourites. You all really do make my day and I'm so glad you are still enjoying it! **

**I have re-uploaded this chapter as I was not happy with the way Christian comes across. I had heavily cut down the original chapter which explained things a bit more. **

**A number of reviewers have commented on the fact that they can't believe that Christian would abstain for 4 years. Well, people do abstain from sex for numerous reasons and hopefully Christian's are explained in this re-edit. **

**Also a number of people have pointed out that people Ana works with don't know that she was married to Christian Grey. I have deliberately left this as bit ambiguous but I will say that someone who is famous on once side of the pond may not be necessarily well known on the other. I was planning to address this in the next chapter. **

**So, this is chapter 5 rewritten, in all it's glory. The plus side is you get a ever so slightly-blink-and-you'll-miss-it longer chapter:)**

**End of rant **

**It all belongs to E.L. James.**

**Xxxxxxxx**

"_What the fuck Elliot? You can't stop me from seeing her!"_

_Christian paced like a caged tiger while Elliot stood steadfast, barring him entrance to his and Kates family home. Both sporting identical black eyes from their earlier fight._

"_Leave her alone Christian. She doesn't want to see you."_

"_She's my wife, I need to speak to her. I need to explain..."_

"_AND I SAID TO LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE." The normally good natured elder Grey brother bellowed. Elliot ran his right hand over his face before looking at at Christian. "Look, you are my brother and I will always love you but you've caused enough damage tonight. Just leave her be for now."_

"_Please Elliot, just let me see her and I want to make this right."_

"_I don't think you can bro." He shook his head sadly, "I mean Jesus, Christian! What the hell were you thinking? You have a fucking amazing wife and kids who fucking adore you. Hell...You are one of the luckiest sons of bitches on the whole motherfucking planet , yet you had to go screw it all up by dipping your wick into the office bike... I just can't understand you."_

"_I..."_

"_Do you love this other woman? Is that it?"_

"_I thought I did...shit" Christian ran both hands through his hair "but I don't, I realise that now. I've ended it with her. I won't see her again, I swear." He looked at Elliot, tears threatened to fall from his gray eyes,. "Fuck. Elliot.. I ..I love Ana and the kids so much,..." _

"_Go home Christian...Please, just go home."_

Christian sat in his hotel room lost in memories of the past. The glass of Bourbon in his hand remained untouched, the ice long since melted. He thought back to his altercation with Elliot on the day Ana had confronted him; how Elliot had not spoken to him for months after that.

He still couldn't believe how fucking stupid he had been; he'd hurt so many people, ruined so many lives not just his own. His life had tumbled from the light and plunged back into the darkness.

Christian quickly downed his drink, relishing the burn in his throat as it slipped down.

He'd felt dead inside for all these years; his life had become meaningless. The only joy in his otherwise fucked up dark existence had been Teddy and Pheobe. Ana had done something to him today ...something wonderful, for he felt like a man reaching an oasis after so long in the desert.

Seeing her flesh had made him realise how much he missed her; how much he was still totally and irrevocably in love with her.

Ana had loved him so completely and he had betrayed her in return. Christian had sworn to himself that he would never betray her again and he hadn't, he had kept his vow. No matter what temptation lay in his path, no matter whether they were together or not...He would never betray Ana again. That would be his personal punishment until the day he died and he knew he deserved more.

Christian smiled as he thought back to their little meeting today. Her smart mouth had aroused feelings in him that he had not felt for years; by god he had wanted her. Images of her arching her back in ecstasy as he slowly made love to her danced around his brain. He shifted in the chair as he to tried ease the uncomfortable ache in his cock.

He wanted Ana see how truly sorry he was. He wanted nothing more than for his little family to be whole again. He needed to fix this and there was only one way he knew how. Christian Grey was going to woo his wife.

Smiling he reached for his phone...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: The response to this story had been phenomenal, honestly I did not expect it. I really can't thank you all enough for your reviews, PM's, follows, and favourites. I'm happy that you all continue to enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it!**

**A/n part deux: In 2022 for purposes of plot they still have email...**

**It all belongs to E.L James**

xxxxxxx

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: **Dinner?

**Date:** August 20 2022 16:15

**To:** Anastasia Steele

Ana,

I know I'm the last person you wish to talk to at the moment (deservedly so) , so please forgive this intrusion.

As you may know I am in London for a limited time; while here I would like to see as much our children as possible.

Perhaps we could meet over dinner to try and clear the air between us, so that we are at least on speaking terms for their sakes?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

Ana stared at the email for a good five minutes wondering how she should respond. She noted the difference in the contrite tone of Christian's message to his attitude in her office this morning.

Today had marked a milestone in their fractured relationship, for it had been the most they had communicated with each other in a very long time. After she had caught him cheating, Ana had attempted to cut Christian out of her life as much as it was possible with two small children involved. She knew that the mature and grown up thing to do was to try and put the hurt aside, to have a 'friendly' relationship with her ex or try to work to save their shattered union. Ana had taken the only other option she felt that she had at the time, she had fled.

Ana didn't think that Christian wanted to repair their broken marriage; the look in his eyes when she asked him if he loved the other woman had told her that. She could not bare to see him make a life with another; she didn't want to think about the children having a new 'mommy' or that Christian may father more children, just not with her. Ana had not been strong enough to face him four years ago. She knew all too well that if she had seen him face to face, she would have agreed to anything he had asked of her.

However, she was a different person now, older and possibly wiser.

Besides, Christian's request was not unreasonable...

* * *

**From:** Anastasia Steele

**Subject: **Dinner

**Date:** August 20 2022 16:35

**To:** Christian Grey

Christian,

I see your stalkerish tendencies have not diminished over the years.

Of course you can see Teddy and Pheobe as much as you wish, I will not stop you.

Dinner will be fine (I suspect you will not leave me alone if I turn you down).

Ana Steele

Senior Editor, Black Books Publishing Ltd.

* * *

_'That's right Steele. Play it cool'. _

Who was she kidding? Seeing him today had shocked her to her core ...or her core had been shocked back into life, she couldn't decide which. He was still gorgeous, so totally gorgeous and he still had some sort of hold over her.

Ana silently cursed herself for her wayward thoughts; she'd moved on and so had he.

* * *

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: **It's a date

**Date:** August 20 2022 16:38

**To:** Anastasia Steele

You know me too well, Ms Steele.

Shall I pick you up tonight at 7? That way I can see the children.

Christian Grey

Hopeful CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

'_Hopeful, Mr Grey?'_

* * *

**From:** Anastasia Steele

**Subject: **Don't get ideas...

**Date:** August 20 2022 16:42

**To:** Christian Grey

Careful Mr Grey, this is NOT a date!

I'm afraid I'm busy tonight but could do tomorrow at 7?

Ana Steele

Senior Editor, Black Books Publishing Ltd.

* * *

_'It's not a date, it's not a date...' _

Ana tapped her fingers nervously on the table as she waited for his reply.

_'It's not a date...'_

Her subconscious looked over her half moon glasses, shaking her head at Ana's pathetic display.

* * *

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: **Ok, it's a non date...

**Date:** August 20 2022 16:56

**To:** Anastasia Steele

I'll be there at 6.30.

It was good to see you.

You looked beautiful as always...

xxx

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

_Beautiful..._

xxxxxx

"How have the kids been today?"

"They've been as good as gold, sweetheart. We're stuck in traffic at the moment but should be back around nine."

"I should be home by then, I just have to finish off here."

"You work to hard honey, why don't you go for that drink with the girls? Like I said, we won't be home until late and we've all already eaten..."

"Mom..."

"Just go Baby girl. Have a good time."

Ana smiled. Even though she was 32, she would always be Carla's baby.

"Okay..Okay Jeez..."

"Don't sass me, young lady!" Carla laughed. "Look. I have to go. Pheobe's just stuck a lollipop in Bob's hair..."

"Before you go Mom, I need to ask you a favor." Ana took a deep breath, "Could you babysit for me tomorrow night? 'I'm..uh...uh having dinner with someone..."

"You have a date? Wow... Who's the lucky guy."

"MOOOMMMM..It's not a date!" Ana whined.

" Of course not honey," Carla chuckled disbelievingly, "but sure I'd love too, You can tell me who this mystery man is later tonight."

"Thanks Mom, I'll tell all when I see you guys later."

"See you later Honey. Love you."

"Love you too."

She put her phone in her handbag and went in search of the others.

Xxxxxxxx

Ana had joined Aggie, Jenna, Emily, Agatha's P.A. and Nessa from marketing for drinks after work. They had spent a fun evening discussing the latest office gossip whilst slowly getting drunker and drunker.

Thankfully, the subject of their new boss had been avoided. Until now...

"So Aggie, our new boss? I have to say he's a bit more easier on the eye than you." Said Nessa, "No offence."

_'Oh no!'_

"None taken darling!" Aggie laughed, "He's rather lush isn't he?"

"Show of hands." Shouted Nessa over the din of four other tipsy women, "Who wants to fuck our new boss?"

Four hands, excluding Ana's, shot up rapidly.

"Me me me memememememe! He was hot!" Squealed Jenna "I wonder if he's single?"

"WIKIPEDIA!" Emily and Nessa chorused.

"I did that this afternoon and he's divorced by the way." Cassie the Art Director said joining the table. She looked directly at Ana, "Seems like one of our number has been keeping secrets from us... Hey Ana?"

"Cassie. Please don't..." Ana pleaded.

"Ana?" Queried Aggie.

The whole table was now silent and looking between Ana and Cassie.

"Ana is already acquainted with Mr Grey." Cassie continued, "Some would say intimately..."

"Ana Steele! You dark horse!" Aggie exclaimed. "I did wonder about your little interaction today..."

"Spill girl," Nessa begged. "Deets... I need deets!"

Ana blushed, everyone was looking at her now; it was finally time to tell the truth.

"Christian and I were married..."

"What? Darling, why didn't you tell us?" Aggie said grasping Ana's hand. "Why didn't you say who you really were?"

Ana sighed, it was now or never. "It was a bad break up... very bad. It was all over the press back home. You see Christian has a high profile in the states..." She felt Aggie squeeze her hand, " What happened all but killed me. After the divorce all I wanted was anonymity, so I changed my name back to Steele and moved to New York."

"and you met me." Aggie smiled. "I knew that you had worked at Grey Publishing, I just never put two and two together . I should have realised you were _the_ Anasastia Grey. I've always assumed that married name was Steele and that Theodore and Phoebe were also Steele. Shows you what a daft old bat I am!"

"To be fair Aggie, I've never corrected you any of you. You have all been so kind to me, I'm truly sorry that I've lied to you all." Ana's eyes began to fill up with tears.

Everyone else sat in stunned silence until finally Nessa came to her senses.

"Well Ana Steele, I have one thing to say to you!"

Ana inwardly cringed, waiting for the berating.

"You lucky cow!"


	7. UPDATE! This is not a chapter

To all my lovely readers out there...

This is just a quick note to apologise for not updating for the last week or so.

My hubby and I have just brought our first house and are moving within the next couple of weeks, so my time is being taken up between work and packing!

I have begun to write the next chapter but I am not sure when I will next be able to update.

Thank you all for your patience.

I hope to update as soon as I can.

Greydays xxx


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you for your patience with me and this story. I've really appreciated all your PM's, reviews and favs! The move went well but we're still surrounded boxes and still unpacking... **

**You have no idea how many times i've tried to write this chapter but here it is.I've not checked the spelling or grammar, so please excuse any mistakes.  
**

**Oh and I now have a twitter thingy under greydaysohmy and I am also on facebook as Greydaysohmy Fanfiction. Also if you are on Facebook there is a group called FSOG Fanfiction. It's a nice little safe haven for all you writers, readers and reviewers. Come and join us!**

**It all belongs to E.L. James.**

Christian lay on his back staring at the dark shadows that danced across the bedroom ceiling of his hotel suite. The gentle promise of sleep had, thus far, evaded him; his mind too eager to recall the events of his 'non date' with Anastasia.

He had visited Black Books Publishing earlier in the day to have yet another meeting with Agatha Statten; why she had wanted yet another fucking meeting was beyond him. When he had first met the indomitable Mrs Statten, she had given him the impression of being the epitome of British eccentricity. However Christian was wise to her now, he had seen through her carefully crafted façade. He had caught a glimpse of a silver haired Viper during the negotiations between the two companies and had instructed all his staff to treat her with kid gloves as a result. Agatha Statten, he had discovered, was certainly no push over but he had expected nothing less of her. Christian certainly admired the wily old bird. To be successful in such a competitive market for so long...

Ever since his first visit to Black Books Publishing, Agatha had been acting different towards him; maternal, more knowing. Christian couldn't put his finger on it but he felt certain that she was up to something. However, her background check had come up clean; well, apart from her habit of picking up very rich husbands. There were four in all; three of whom had subsequently died after a few years of marriage, leaving her a substantial amount of money from their estates.

Still it had given him a chance to see Ana again before his dinner date with her in the evening. He had swung by her desk before the meeting and had gifted her with a bouquet of flowers; each flower of which he had personally selected for it's meaning. The bouquet contained Forget-me-not, Daffodils, white and red Carnations, white and pink carmellia's, purple hyacinth, Jonquil, Orchids and Orange blossom. The florist had done a magnificent job in finding them all at such short notice and had made the most beautiful and delicate of arrangements.

Christian smiled as he remembered being rewarded with a shy smile and a blush for his efforts. He was also sure he caught a wistful look on Agatha's face...

Picking Ana up from home had not been as bad as he thought it would be. Ana's parents and Bob had been incredibly civil to him, given the circumstances. Of course Teddy and Phoebe had been overjoyed to see him as he them.

Christian had been in the middle of talking to Ray about fishing when Ana had walked into the living room. She wore a royal blue dress that clung to every curve of her body and sky high Laboutins that did everything humanly possible to highlight her gloriously long legs. Images of those same legs wrapped around him while her body arched off of the bed in ecstasy sprang , unbidden, into his mind. Her blue eyes locked on to his as electricity crackled around them; he could of sworn her heard her breath hitch before she bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes not leaving his.

_'Maybe there is hope for us...'_

It had taken a subtle clearing of Rays throat to break the spell.

"Now you kids have a good time and Christian, I want my girl home before midnight." Said Ray with a sparkle in his eye.

"Dad," Ana admonished him, "It's not a date. We're just going to discuss things for the sake of the kids."

"What ever you say kiddo."

_'I fucking love you Ray...'_

xxxxxxxxx

The drive to the restaurant had been interesting.

The air had continued to crackle between them, amplified, in such a confined space. It had taken all of Christian's resolve not to try and declare his love, to touch her, to kiss her, to beg her for forgiveness.

Christian didn't want to scare her off, he wanted her back in his life...permanently.

Anastasia had warned him in no uncertain terms that she was merely there to clear the air between them. He could only nod in agreement. They fell in to comfortable silence for the rest of the journey.

By the time they were shown to the private dining room at Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester; Ana had let down her guard and seemed to be more relaxed in his presence. Dinner was ordered and the wine flowed, as did the conversation. They spoke about the kids, what Ana had been up to, what he had done in the last four years, how both sets of parents were. He couldn't remember when he had spent such an enjoyable evening.

Yet, he knew they were both avoiding the elephant in the room.

With this in mind, Christian invited her for a drink in his hotel suite in Claridges so that they could talk more freely. He was surpised when she accepted...

"_Christian what's wrong?" She asked as they sat side by side on the sofa, both nursing yet another drink. _

"_I was just thinking how I miss this...us."_

"_Christian..." She started to protest._

"_Ana, please I need to say this." He said taking her hand, caressing his thumb over hers in a soothing gesture. "I do not expect you to forgive me for what I did to you but I want to tell you how truly sorry I am for all the hurt I have caused you. Please believe me when I say that losing you and the kids was the biggest mistake I've ever made. Seeing you here makes me realise that I should have fought to save us..."_

_He saw her take a deep shuddering breath before she replied._

"_You say these things but you've had four years to tell me this. Why now?"_

"_I know about you and Richard..." Her eyes widened in shock , "and that fucker's had what's mine." He mentally slapped himself as soon as the words left his mouth , inwardly cursing the amount of alcohol he'd consumed for the lack of control over what he was saying. _

_Anas eyes burnt with cold fury as she snatched her hand away._

"_You arrogant...I'm not yours Christian...not any more. You lost that right when you fucked that whore!" _

"_Ana..."_

"_You had it all Christian and yet you chose her over us." Ana seethed, "and yet I try to heal my broken heart and all you can think about is that someone has 'had ' me? Well you'll be pleased to know he couldn't match up to you." She got up and grabbed her purse. "I died that day Christian, I fucking died. If I hadn't have found out would you still be with her?"_

_He knew that four years of anger, hurt and pain had finally found an outlet to express itself. "No, Ana I wouldn't. Baby, please" He said grabbing her hand. "__I still love you baby, always. I'm sorry, so so sorry..."_

" _I should go" She moved towards the door, he could see the tears form in her eyes, "'You've spoilt it for me Christian. I'll never find someone else because no one will match up to you."_

_He wasn't sure how he got there but he suddenly found himself pushing her up against the suite door, his lips urgently claiming hers. Christian prepared himself for her rejection as her whole body stiffened before she relaxed and returned his kiss with equal ardour... _

A slow smile spread across his face. Turning to his side, he cuddled up to the warmth of his bed's other occupant.

"Hey, beautiful," He purred, kissing her shoulder.

"What time is it?" Came the sleepy response.

"Way past midnight, baby."

"Shit!" Ana exclaimed, sitting bolt upright.


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning: Poor (and tiny) attempt at Lemons ahead, (thank you to KLCM for your advice.)**

**It's also not betaed, checked grammatically and was written really really quickly so it's a bit short!  
**

**It all belongs to E.L. James but like the rest of the planet I wish that Christian Grey belonged to me...**

Xxxxxx

"_Oh fuck, oh Christian,...Ohhh God." She cried as he slowly slid his finger in and out of her. His tongue obscenely laving away at her right breast as she writhed in ecstasy._

_She had ignored the warnings of her subconscious who had stood there shaking her head, tutting. The message had been clear, 'No good will come of this...'_

_Ana could only think how good this felt and it had definately been far too long since she felt had like this. _

_Maybe it was the wine; maybe it was the fact he still wore his wedding ring; maybe it was the desperation, the longing, the need; maybe it was the fact that she was still in love with him. _

_All Ana knew at this moment was that she had a thirst, a thirst that only he could quench._

_Her reverie was broken by Christian husky command, "Come for me baby." and come she did, over and over..._

"_I... want..you...inside me...now." She managed to pant out as he kissed his way back up her body. _

"_Are you sure? We don't have to do this..."_

"_YES. NOW!" She felt him smile against her neck._

"_Your wish is my command." Christian said as he positioned himself at her core. "I'm sorry if this is to quick baby... it's been a while."_

_Her rather inappropriate inner goddess chose that exact moment to leap about waving pom-poms chanting G.O.O.D. Ana ignored her as she felt Christian slowly he ease into her. He groaned as he filled her to the hilt and eased back out again and again._

"_Christian..." She gasped, grabbing his backside urging him to go faster. She felt that familiar pull in her belly as pounded into her._

"_Ana...fuck... I'm going to..." She felt Christian still as he found his release, pouring himself into her; whispering her name like a prayer in the darkness, "Ana...baby, I love you...I love you..."_

_With those words she fell once more into the abyss of bliss._

_Xxxxxxx_

"Hey, beautiful," She heard Christian purr as he kissed her shoulder.

"What time is it?" Ana responded sleepily.

"Way past midnight, baby."

"Shit!" Ana exclaimed, sitting bolt upright.

_'Shit, shit, shit, shit shit...What the hell have you done Ana?'_

"Christian I have to go."

"Ana it's four o'clock in the fucking morning," He drawled, "Why don't you sleep a couple more hours baby and I'll drop you off at home later or I could think of other things to do..." He traced his index finger in a circular pattern on her thigh, steadily climbing higher.

"I...we should..." She groped around for the lamp switch in the darkness. Her eyes stung when light suddenly filled the room.

'_I have to get out of here...'_

"Ana? Are you ok?" He asked, his eyes scrunched up in confusion.

She desperately gathered her clothes that were strewn all over the hotel suite; hurriedly throwing them on.

"This was a mistake Christian. A stupid, stupid mistake."

"Mistake?" He looked up at her, hurt, before realisation dawned and his gaze turned to ice.

"We shouldn't have done this."

"Shouldn't we?"

"No, Christian, we shouldn't. It was great...really really great," A small smirk appeared on his face, "but one night of sex won't fix us, it won't mend what was broken." Ana took a deep, steadying breath before dealing the next blow, "We're not together any more, we're not married because you broke my heart, you broke your vows..."

He hung his head for a moment before running his hands through his deep copper hair.

"I swear to you Ana, I'll never do anything like that again." His gray gaze met hers, "You're the first person i've had sex with in four years for fucks sake!" His voice trembled with emotion.

Ana felt her hackles rise at that statement, _'How dare he!'_

"What do you want...a medal?" She hissed incredulously, "I'll put it simply for you shall I? I can't trust you Christian."

"Please Ana, give me a chance. That's all I'm asking for ."

"My heart was broken once. I'll not let it happen a second time.

"Please," He pleaded... "Please give me another chance.."

"I can't..." She choked back a sob, "Goodbye Christian."

She had almost made it to the door before she felt his arms wrap around her. His large hands gently rubbed her back as she turned and cried into his chest.

"Shhhh, shhhhh it's ok…..I know,...I love you Anastasia Steele, I don't want to lose you again"

"I'm sorry Christian...I can't give you more..."

"I understand baby...shhhhh" He soothed, kissing her forehead. "I don't want this to be goodbye Ana, so I have a favor to ask..."

"I'm not being your fuck buddy Christian!"

"Such a dirty mind Ms Steele," He teased "I was actually going to ask if we could at least be friends?"

_'Could we?'_

"We can try." She smiled through her tears.

"Good." He gave her his full mega watt smile, "Now, at least let me drive you home or if you don't want me, Taylor..."

xxxxxxxx

**A/N: Last chapter caused a bit of controversy.! All i'll say is have patience and bear with me...  
**

**Thank you everyone for your continuing support, it really is appreciated. **

**Remember to join us on Facebook at FSOG fanfiction!**

**This is not the end.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Wow over 400 reviews! I'm genuinely stoked, I really didn't expect that. **

**Thank you all so much for your continued support, PM's, reviews, favs and follows. **

**Remember if you want a place to discuss and meet other 50 Shades fanfic addicts, remember to join us on facebook at FSOG Fanfiction. **

**Warning: Slight lemons (and please no flames).**

**It all belongs to E.L James  
**

Ana sat impatiently tapping her fingers against the polished surface in front of her. She looked at her watch, huffing in frustration when she realised that only two minutes had passed since she had last checked.

Why was it that time always seemed to slow down when you didn't want it to ?

She leant her head back against the wall, willing the hand on the clock to go faster.

* * *

The last nine weeks had passed in a blur.

Christian had returned to Seattle a couple of days after the eventful 'non-date' and they had kept in regular contact with each other ever since. At first she had only joined in with Teddy and Pheobe's Skype sessions with Christian once a week, talking to him for five minutes or so and emailing him sporadically. Gradually, she found herself talking to him over Skype long after the children had gone to bed and more than once a week. At some point it had turned into every night.

Little by little they had opened up to each other more about what had happened in their lives over the past four years. In fact, they had come so far together that they were even able to talk about his relationship with Megan; it had been painful for her to hear but at the same time cathartic. She knew now how deeply he regretted the relationship and how sorry he was for the way the press had vilified her. What had happened still hurt her but she knew that if they were to have any kind of relationship as friends, even for them both to be able to move on, then she would have to try and forgive him.

Slowly, very slowly she realised that she had.

It was during these last night confessionals that Ana had told him about her relationship with Richard. She had expected a thermonuclear fifty reaction from him but none came. She could see he was hurting as her words came tumbling out but he did not loose his temper, he just sat and listened. She knew then that her Fifty had changed for the better.

Recently, their (now) flirtatious online chats had taken a decidedly sexual turn. It had happened after she had teased him how she could not believe that he had not had sex for years and she had deliberately bitten her bottom lip to try and invoke a reaction...

"_Don't do that." His voice low._

"_Do what?" She asked, trying to maintain her mask of innocence ._

"_You know full well 'what' Anastasia."_

"_I'm not so sure that I do...sir" _

_Her subconscious looked at her in open mouthed shock before shaking her head; muttering that this was a dangerous game to play and that someone was going to get hurt. _

_Ana ignored her warnings. Ana wanted to play._

_She looked up at him through her lashes, knowing the effect that such a simple gesture would have on him. She was reward for her efforts when she heard his breath hitch, before he closed his eyes momentarily. _

"_God help me." He groaned before opening his eyes and fixing her with his darkened gaze. She watched as he shifted in his seat, desperately trying to adjust himself as subtly as possible. "Do you know what are you doing to me?" _

"_Why don't you show me?" _

"_Ana..." Christian warned "I thought you wanted us to just be friends?" He shifted again._

"_I do Mr Grey, I want to be very good friends with you."_

"_May I remind you that you also said you didn't want to be fuck buddies?" _

"_How can we possibly be fuck buddies when we have an ocean between us Christian?"_

"_Ana, please don't do this me."_

"_Think of this more as another level of communication. We always used to communicate so so well" She smirked, undoing the top buttons of her shirts "Now, why don't you get yourself more comfortable?" _

"_If you don't stop Anastasia, I will have to end our conversation." He winced from being so constricted, his breath now coming out in shallow pants._

_Ana knew he was rock hard, she had made this copper haired adonis like that; he was hard for her and her alone. The thought sent moisture pooling between her thighs._

"_Oh Mr Grey? Why would that be?"_

"_You know why."_

"_Tell me."_

"_Because I want to fuck you baby. I want to bend you over my desk and spank the living shit out of you for making me feel this way. I want to see your ass glow pink and then I want to fuck you, hard." He growled. "But I can't when you are three fucking thousand miles away!"_

_Her inner goddess squealed with delight. The Christian Grey was beyond frustrated and only Ana could ease his suffering. He was now Ana's to command._

"_Undo your pants."_

_Christian quirked his right eyebrow before purring "Really Mrs Grey?" _

_Ana paused for a moment before deciding to let his freudian slip go, "It's Miss Steele to you, Mr Grey."_

_She felt her insides melt as a slow sexy smile spread across his face; he was finally going to play along_

"_Of course Miss Steele." He moved to undo his belt, deliberately taking his time before his manhood was fully exposed. Ana could not help but gasp. _

"_What would you like me to do now?"_

"_Imagine me taking you in my mouth."_

"_What I wouldn't like to do to that smart mouth of yours baby." His breathing was heavier now._

"_Now, touch yourself." She licked her lips as he took hold of his length and slowly moved his hand up and down._

"_Fuck Ana," He groaned "I want you so fucking much...touch yourself baby, I want to see you come."_

_Ana's hand slowly moved down towards..._

BRINNNGGGGGGG

The loud sound of the her phone alarm brought Ana back to the present. She caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror; her cheeks flushed from her extremely erotic memory.

_'What's happening to me?'_

Ana mentally slapped herself for momentarily forgetting the reason she was here in the first place before picking up the small white stick in front of her.

She took a several deep, calming, breaths before checking for the result that could possibly change her life again. What she saw stunned her.

'_Oh holy cow...Two lines...there are two lines.'_

Her suspicions were correct.

She was pregnant and Christian was most definatley the father.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you all again, your response to this story has been amazing.**

**I gather most of you enjoyed the plot twist! So here is the next instalment, not betaed or checked grammatically and written late at night, so please excuse any mistakes.  
**

**A line of this was written by my husband and as a thank you for his continued support and attempts to try help me write this, i've left it in. Some of you may guess which bit it is! **

**It all belongs to E.L James. **

Take-out boxes littered the coffee table in front of her as she lay curled up under a blanket, trying to watch the god awful film that she'd downloaded for the evening. She thought back to her college days when Jose, Kate and her had watched it all almost every Thursday night; devouring large amounts of pizza and reciting the dialogue word for word, dissolving into fits of laughter as it was so bad.

"_I want to spread myself over your love crumpet. Let me make you all warm and buttery Susanna..."_

The fond memories of simpler times did nothing to distract Ana from the mess her life was currently in.

So many questions were racing around her head, _ 'How could this have happened? How could I have been so stupid?...why didn't we use protection?' . _

Her subconscious wagging her finger at her, mouthing _'I told you so',_ was doing absolutely nothing to help the situation.

What was she going to do? She would have to tell Christian of course, but how? Ideally she wanted to tell him face to face but what with a whole ocean in between them... Would Christian even want to be involved with the baby?

_'Stupid question Steele.'_

Then there was the logistics of all; should she uproot the kids to move back home so that she could be nearer her family? She would need all the support she could get...

_'Curse him and his super sperm!'_

Ana hadn't even realised that she could be pregnant until Jenna had made a joke about Ana eating for two. This was after Ana had ravenously devoured her third bar of Galaxy chocolate that morning. Alarm bells rang in Anas' head as she slowly put two and two together, prompting her to rush out to the nearest chemist at lunchtime to buy a test.

Now she thought about it, it certainly explained a lot; the mood swings; hunger; weight gain; the lack of periods; the light headed nauseousness. All of which she had put down to stress. However, her doctor had confirmed that, yes, she was definitely pregnant and that she was approximately nine weeks along.

So here she was, lying on her sofa, newly pregnant and thousands of miles away from her family and friends.

Ana had never felt so alone in all her life.

Her hand moved to gently rub her still flat belly. What was happening now wasn't the baby's fault. Whatever the circumstances, this baby had been conceived by two people who, deep down,, still loved one another.

"I love you already my little invader and so will your Daddy." She whispered reaching for her phone.

It was time to bite the bullet...It was time to tell Christian.

Xxxxxxx

Christian looked up in annoyance as he felt his cell vibrate on the table. He was currently in the middle of a very important meeting with the Chinese vendors of (what he hoped to be) his latest acquisition. They had just reached a crucial moment of the negotiations and he really wasn't in the mood for any distractions.

_'That better not be fucking Elliot again' _

Just how many times could you tell a person to fuck off before they got the hint?

His ever loving elder brother had, for the past two weeks, been trying to set him up on some shitty date with a friend of his and Kate's called Martha. He had told Elliot repeatedly that he wasn't interested but the fucker could not leave it alone.

In fact, the Grey brothers had very nearly come to blows when Elliot suggested that maybe it was time for Christian to move on, before he made some smutty comment about his dick falling off through lack of use. Carrick had had to intervene before one or other of his sons ended up in the E.R.

No, he had been given a chance to get his family back and he certainly wasn't going to do anything that could jeopardize it. The only woman Christian wanted, would ever want, was Ana; his beautiful, sexy, naughty Ana. A small smile danced across his face at the thought of her and their afternoon cyber sex sessions. He thanked all known gods that his office was soundproof.

The cell vibrated again.

He seriously thought of throwing the fucking thing out of the window but thought better of it.

With a slight sigh he picked it up ready to put whoever it was through to voicemail, quickly changing his mind when he saw Ana's name flash up on the screen.

"Gentlemen, Ladies if you'll please excuse me, I have to take this call...family emergency" He said as he stood up abruptly. He caught Ros looking at him incredulously before he swiftly exited the conference room and headed to his office.

"Ana, is everything ok? Has something happened to the children?"

"The kids are fine Christian..."

"Oh, thank God. I was worried something had happened. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I just...I just really need to talk to you."

"You know how much I love talking to you baby but can I take a rain check ? I'm in the middle of an important meeting..."

"No Christian, this can't wait..." He heard her take a deep breath, "God this is so hard..."

"Ana...What's the matter? Baby, are you sure you're ok?" She remained silent, "Ana?"

"I'm just going to say it...i'm pregnant Christian. Nine weeks pregnant."

He stood there stunned.

_'Pregnant? Ana is pregnant?'_

"Christian?"

He could see the grin that had spread across his face reflected in the window.

_'Pregnant'_

"Please say something, Christian!"

Christian Grey suddenly felt on top of the world.

"Baby, that's the best fucking news I've heard all year."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I loved seeing all your guesses as which bit my husband wrote of the last chapter but no-one guessed correctly. It was the bit that began 'I want to spread myself over your love crumpet...'**

**Thank you for all of your PM's (I'm sorry if I haven't got back to you yet) Review, favs and follows. **

**Without further ado (and seeing as you all asked so nicely). Here is the next chapter for you which is a bit of a filler.**

**It all belongs to E.L James.**

Jenna sighed as she took yet another beautifully wrapped package into Anas office; It was the fifth one this week. She'd gathered her boss had an admirer but Ana had remained very tight lipped about it; refusing to give Jenna the slightest hint of who it may be.

The bouquet of flowers on the first day has been simply stunning; all pinks and blues. Of course, she had snuck a peek at the card that came with it.

_**Thank you for making me the happiest man alive.**_

Jenna thought it odd that the card was not signed but took the flowers to Ana regardless. She had been shocked when Ana had burst into tears on reading the message but had felt better when Ana had assured her they were happy tears.

_'_The pamper pack on the second day had been filled to the brim with luxurious goodies that Jenna could only dream of owning on her limited salary. Again she could not resist looking at the card; she knew Ana wouldn't mind. Again it was unsigned.

_**I am sorry that I have caused you nothing but pain and stress.**_

_**You deserve to be spoilt.**_

Ana had accepted the parcel with a small smile. Jenna couldn't put her finger on it but something was definitely going on...

The third package had been tiny. She'd given it a quick shake and the box had rattled a bit; the message on the card was of no help whatsoever.

_**To second chances. **_

_**Maybe a third?...**_

Jenna had lingered in the doorway, out of curiosity as, Ana opened the package with a big beam on her face. Tears started to well in Ana's amazingly blue eyes as she held the gorgeous diamond necklace in her hands.

The fourth package was quite large and heavy. The message on the card read;

_**For laters, baby x**_

This one had confused Jenna no end; later on for what? She had popped into Ana office with a cup of tea in the afternoon; surprising Ana who had been holding a lovely, flowing top against the top half of her body. The top itself was striking shade of blue with gold detailing down the sleeves. As beautiful as the top was, it was far to big for Ana in Jenna's opinion. Far far to big...

Jenna sighed again as she knocked on Ana's door, the small box held in her left hand.

She wished that she had someone who would make grand romantic gestures for her. The closest that she got had got to anything vaguely termed as romantic was when Darren Gregory from the post room had asked her out on a date. Unfortunately, the date had consisted of being taken to KFC and groped in the back row of the cinema...

"Come in."

"Ana, I have another package for you."

"Thank you Jen, could you leave it on my desk?"

"Yep, sure thing."

Ana appeared to be lost in her own little world. She thought that she was being paranoid but Ana had seemed to be a bit off with her lately. In fact, Ana had been acting strangely ever since Jenna had made that joke about her eating for two.

It was just a joke.

Maybe she had offended her in some way?

Jenna truly hoped not; she loved working for Ana. Anyway, how could Ana be pregnant? She wasn't in a relationship or even seeing anyone as far as Jenna knew. There was that hoo-hah when Ana's ex- Mr Grey had visited some months ago. ….

"Anything else I can get you Ana?"

That seemed to break thd distracted Ms Steeke from her reverie.

"Hmmm? What? Sorry Jenna... no... no thank you."

"Ok, yell if you need me!" She said brightly before placing the parcel on the desk. As she left the office, she swore she heard Ana say;

"Oh fifty..."

Xxxxxxxx

Ana gently picked up the package that Jenna had, moments before, deposited on her desk. This was the fifth present that she had received from Christian this week. For a man who told her he didn't do hearts and flowers all those years ago, Christian was doing a pretty good job so far. That didn't mean that she forgotten why they were apart in the first place.

He had gone all out since she had told him the news. She had been touched with the thoughtfulness of each gift and message he had sent her this week. Indeed, she had struggled not to burst into floods of tears in front of Jenna each time...Poor Jenna.

She probably thought she had done something wrong.

_'Damn pregnancy hormones.'_

Ana just wasn't ready to tell anyone yet but she would have to in the next month or so. She was ten weeks pregnant and would be showing soon.

She opened to the package gingerly and was surprised to find a set of keys inside.

_'Strange...'_

Opening the accompanying message she gasped as she read.

_**Here are the keys to my heart and my home. **_

_**My heart only beats for you.**_

_**We have a mountain to climb but I want to be with you and our children.**_

_**I am moving to London to be closer to you.**_

_**I love you Ana**_

_**I always will.**_

_**PS:**_

_**Look out of your window...**_

Ana rushed to her window and smiled.

For there, looking up at her whilst leaning against a black SUV, was Christian Grey in all his glory.

**I truly hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!**

**Love Sara xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Apologies for the delay, I have lots going on at the moment. It's taken forever to write!**

**Thank you all again for your reviews and PM's.**

**It's not betaed or edited so there will be mistakes!  
**

**Special thanks to Jane Austen, Maripuri and Twifan999!**

**It all belongs to E.L. James**

**xxxxx**

_**'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife...'**_

Thus began Anastasia Steeles' relaxing evening at home. Dressed in her, now slightly tight, Onesie; settled into the overstuffed, comfy, armchair that dominated the room, bar of chocolate by her side and Teddy and Phoebe in bed, this was her idea of bliss.

Ana had always been a romantic soul at heart. Many a night had been spent, long after the kids had been tucked up in bed, in said armchair reading such classics as Sense & Sensibility, Jane Eyre and (of course) Tess of the D'urbervilles. She had supposed that after the break up of her marriage she found some sort solace in these books. The darkly flawed protagonists reminding her of her own overpowering, deeply passionate, lost love.

Tonight Ana was in the mood for a spot of Pride & Prejudice and a big dose of Mr Darcy.

She absent-mindedly ran her hand over her tiny bump, wondering whether the little invader was a boy or girl; Christian had told her that he did not mind either way.

"_As long as our wonderful little bean is healthy Ana."_

He had taken to calling the latest Grey by Teddy's nickname for the baby in the last couple of weeks.

They had attended the 12 week scan showing them that all was well; afterwards heading home to tell the children.

Xxxxxxx

"_Daddddyyyyyyy" Phoebe squealed as she hurled herself in to Christians arms as soon as they walked through the door._

"_Hey Peanut! You had a good day at school?" _

"_Uh huh." Phoebe nodded._

"_What about you TedBear?" _

"_It was cool," He shrugged nonchalantly, "We played Rugby during P.E and Mr Delallio is organising a trip to see England play at Twickenham." His eyes betraying his underlying excitement. _

_Teddy had fallen in love with Rugby during his time in the U.K. There had been many a time when Ana had had to wrestle the T.V remote from her son during the Six Nations Cup; so engrossed was he that he 'forgot' to do his homework. Christian was not too pleased with his sons' choice of sport, considering it to dangerous for his precious boy._

"_Can I go Dad?...pleeeeaaaaassseee" Teddy stared at his father pleadingly; his bright blue eyes so like Anas' that Christian was unable to go with his gut instinct and give him an outright no._

"_I'll think about it sport." Christian answered, ruffling his mini-me's hair._

_Ana had to admit that the children seemed so much happier now that they saw Christian on a more regular basis. They had both been so excited when she had told them that daddy was moving to London. _

"_Anyway, your mom and I have something to tell you both. So why don't we all go through to the family room and we can tell you what it is!" _

"_Are we getting a puppy, Mummy?" Phoebe asked Ana from the couch that Christian had just placed her on._

"_No sweetheart." _

"_But what's better than a puppy?...a kitty?" She said excitedly._

"_You're not getting a kitty either Peanut." Christian chuckled._

_Both children wore identical looks of disappointment._

"_You're getting something much much better than that..."_

_Christian sat next to Teddy, scooping Pheobe on to his lap. He took the sonogram out of his wallet and held it up to show them._

"_What is it daddy?"_

"_It's your new brother or sister."_

"_You sure? It looks like a bean." Teddy's dis-believing tone speaking volumes._

_It took everything in Ana's power not to burst out laughing._

"_Why is the baby not here daddy? Why is it on the picture?" _

"_Because the baby is very very tiny and is in mommy's belly at the moment. So you've got to be extra gentle with mommy ok?"_

"_Ok daddy." Pheobe's brow furrowed in thought before she asked her next question. "Daddy...How did the baby get in mummy's tummy?"_

_xxxxx_

Ana could still see Christian's face as he tried to explain the 'birds and the bee's to his eight year old daughter. She wished that she had taken a picture of it...

They had also now told all their families about the new baby; Ana had been mortified when Ray had asked her how it had happened and joked about getting his shotgun.

Kate had told Ana that the press back home had taken great interest in Christian moving to London; that a photo had appeared in the Seattle Nooz of her and Christian leaving the private maternity hospital under the headline:

_**'New Grey on the way?'**_

Ana had already admitted to Aggie and Richard that she was pregnant. Both had been surprised but had been happy for her as she told them over tea at her house. Christian had sat glowering at Richard in the corner during the visit; she swore she heard him mutter "l_east the fucker knows you're mine."..._

"Can I get you anything baby?" Christian said as he came out of her bathroom; hair damp from his shower and pajama bottoms hanging indecently low on his hips.

"Haven't you got a home to go to?"

"My home is here with you." He said giving her his '_i'm younger than you think I am' _boyish grin.

_'One thing is certain: If I get through this night without my panties bursting into flames, it is going to be a miracle!'_

"I do believe, Mr Grey, that you own a rather nice apartment in Kensington."

"Why Ms Steele...Are you trying to get rid of me?" He placed his hand on his finely chiselled chest, over his heart; his gorgeous mouth turned down, feigning hurt.

" Fine. You're sleeping in the spare room."

"Like I did the other night?" He smirked.

Ana could feel herself blush crimson; she would be forever blaming her hormones.

_'Oh my he's not wearing shoes...' _

"You know...I've been thinking about us" He drawled seductively, as he prowled towards her.

'_Just take off you pants and fuck us already!' _ Her inner goddess breathed.

"Us?"

"Us Ana." He said taking the book from her hand and placing it on the table beside her. Christian's gray eyes burned into hers. "I want to give 'us' another chance, to be official Ana...I want us to be a family again. I've missed you so much, I fucked up so badly." He placed his hand on her expanding belly, "But this baby, Ana, is the worlds way of telling us we should be together. I love you so so much." He took her hand in his.

Gone was the confident CEO; in his place was a lost boy, her lost boy. What he said next shocked her to the core.

"Marry me?"


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Once again you astound me with your response to my story.**

**I'd like to thank each and every one of you for the amount of love you send Without You's way.**

**So without my usual ramble, here is Chapter 14.**

**It's a bit angsty but it's words that need to be said. **

**It all belongs to E.L. James.**

xxxxx

_**'Marry me?'**_

_'Holy Crapola!'_

Ana wondered whether or not she had finally lost her grip on reality; she swore that Christian had asked her to marry him.

"Marry you?" She repeated uncertainly, the words coming out of her mouth with deliberate slowness.

"Marry me." He repeated, his Gray eyes filled with sincere emotion.

Ana, her inner goddess and subconscious sat there stunned in silence. If she had had greater presence of mind she would have realised what a rarity that was. She raised her eyes to the heavens, silently praying for guidance.

'_Could I?...Should I?'_

_'SAY YES' _Her inner goddess, woken from her shocked state, shouted emphatically. Ana could see her subconscious, arms crossed, shaking her head mouthing 'NO'.

_'What do I do?..I love him, I forgive him but...'_

"Ana?" He called her name concerned.

"Christian, I... I...I don't know what to say."

"Oh..." She watched as he physically deflated, the light in his slate gray eyes dulling before hardening as Dom Christian threatened to make an appearance. "I understand. I just thought...maybe it's best if I head home tonight." He said coolly as he stood to start to move away from her but stopped when she grabbed his hand.

"I didn't say no Christian," The iciness in his demeanour thawed instantaneously; a sexy, slow smiled started to spread across his face.

_'So mecurial!'_

"I haven't said yes yet either."

"So I take it that it's a maybe?" He cocked his head questioningly as he crouched down beside her again; taking her hand in his before placing a kiss on her palm.

Ana slowly nodded her head in agreement.; her answering grin growing to match is his now full mega watt beam.

"Yes, it's a maybe." He closed his eyes as she caressed the side of his face, "We still have issues to work through Christian. We rushed into marriage before Mr Grey...I want to make absolutely sure that if we marry again, that it's for the right reasons... not for the sake of the children or because I'm pregnant." She placed her finger over his lips as he started to protest.

"I want to make sure that we are doing the best thing for us Christian." She sighed as she leant her forehead against his, "You broke my heart four years ago and if you break it this time..."

"I promise you baby, I promise that I will not hurt you again."

"You promised to be faithful." She said not unkindly.

Ana waited for the nuclear explosion of her husband's temper. (_Ex-husband/boyfriend!' _Her subconscious snidely remarked.) It didn't come; instead Christian surprised her by placing a gentle kiss on her belly before resting his head on her lap. They stayed in companionable silence for what seemed like hours.

"I was a shit husband to you Ana and a lousy father." His voice cut through the stillness, "It took you leaving me to realise what I'd lost.." Christian took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. "There was no one else before or after Megan, Ana. I know you don't believe me but I swear there was no one else."

"Did you love her?"

"I thought we weren't going to go over this again baby..." He felt Ana tense.

"Please Christian I need this, I need the truth." She said sadly, "I can't...we can't move on until we are absolutely honest with each other."

"I don't want to hurt you again Ana."

"No matter how painful it is Christian. I want to hear it..please."

"Are you sure baby?"

Christian gently squeezed her hand as he got to up to move the other armchair closer to Ana.

"Baby I need you to understand that this is not how I feel now, O.K?" He said softly as he settled himself opposite her. "I love you so so much, she means nothing to me... nothing. But you do my beautiful Ana...remember that." He blew out a long steadying breath, taking her hands in his.

"I met Megan when Andrea called in sick one day and she was sent along as a replacement. It's no excuse now but at the time Dad had had his heart scare and we were arguing... I was attracted to her from the moment I met her, she reminded me of you." He continued to look at their entwined hands.

"Nothing happened at first, then a couple of days after she first came into my office I kissed her and about a week later we slept together for the first time" He felt Ana move to pull away her hands but he held on to them, trying to soothe her by rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. "Did I love her? At the time I thought I was falling for her but looking back, it was lust I felt...nothing else."

"When did it end?" Ana' sounded so frail, so tiny, so hurt...

"The day you confronted me. I ended it straight away, I swear..." He finally looked up into Ana's eyes, hating himself as he saw the tears flow down her soft cheeks; grateful that she didn't flinch as moved to wipe them away.

"I'll never forgive myself for the pain I caused you, that I lost you... I'll never forgive myself for the shit storm that hit the press...those photos. The fact that they called you, my beautiful; sweet wife, a gold digger...I don't deserve you Ana Steele...I never have." He choked back a sob as he reached out to touch her belly, "But by some miracle, someone has given us another chance, a new beginning and I don't intend to waste another minute of our time together. I feel like I'm the luckiest fucker on the planet for you to still let me be here."

Christian pulled her into his arms, kissing her hair. "I love you so much baby."

She looked up at him, smiling through her tears, placing a sweet kiss on his jaw.

"Thank you..."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I enjoy writing this story; I do it purely to scratch a creative itch. My only hope, when I started writing it, was that others would enjoy it. So to all those who enjoy Without you, I would like to thank you for all your support.** **It all belongs to E.L James**

* * *

"So what's the latest with you and old moneybags then?" Kate cackled down the line.

"I told you before Kate, nothing is going on between me and Christian..." Her denial was quick, a bit too quick.

"Hmmmmmm...Oh look! Is that a flying pig I see?"

"Kate..."

"Anastasia Rose Steele, that's not what the Seattle Nooz article said, it's not the opinion most of America and it is certainly not the opinion of all of your nearest and dearest... so out with it Steele!"

"Ka..."

"Oh come on Ana... you can't deny that something is going on between you two. We all know you've done the nasty because number one you've admitted it and number two, you're having his baby for Christ's sake! So that's not exactly nothing, now is it?" and so the Kate Kavanagh inquisition began...

"Yes, we made a baby...It was one drunken night Kate."

"That's utter crap Steele! Remember, I know you, so you may as well stop with the bullshit now..." She snickered, Kate actually snickered, "Elliot tells me you've been at it like rabbits since Christian moved to London..."

"Jesus, Kavanagh!"

"Don't forget sex sessions on Skype!" Elliot bellowed in the background.

By now Anas face was deepest shade of crimson, she prayed for the ground to suddenly open up and swallow her whole.

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"One word..." Kate sang.

"Christian!" Elliot shouted again before Ana heard a distinct slapping sound. "Fuck, babe that turns me on..."

_'I so did not want to hear that...'_

"Will you shut the hell up Elliot Grey!" Ana heard Kate's muffled voice hiss, "Sorry about my crass husband..." Kate sighed, "Look before you kill my brother-in-law, I should say that Elliot wheedled the information out of him. Christian wasn't exactly forth coming..."

"Oh?"

"Before you guys told us about the baby and before Christian left for London is such a hurry" She paused pointedly before continuing, "Elliot was trying to set Christian up with a friend of ours called Martha..."

Ana felt a stab of pain in her heart at her friends words. She'd often thought how she would feel if Christian had moved on with someone else. In her self-imposed exile away from the world that revolved around ex-husband it had been easy to feel detached from the situation. She had told herself over and over that if he had moved on and remarried, then she would have been happy for him. She knew in her heart of hearts that she was lying to herself; just because he shattered her heart, it didn't mean that she had ever stopped loving him, or him her it would seem...

"Ana...Ana are you listening me?"

"You were trying to set him up with Martha?" She questioned, trying to to keep her tone even so as not to betray her hurt.

"Oh! Honey, I'm sorry" Kate said softly.

Ana inwardly berated herself for not hiding it better; she would never win an oscar.

"We didn't know about..." Kate took a deep breath before continuing, "Elliot thought that Christian need someone to help him get over you... After you two divorced... he shut himself away again, he couldn't move on. It was like he was waiting for you to come back to him. He pined for you Ana... he was slowly dying. The only thing that kept Christian going was the kids. If Teddy and Pheebs hadn't been there..."

Ana felt the tears roll down her cheeks as Kate spoke. For so long she had thought that he didn't want her; she wasn't good enough for him; she didn't satisfy him. Yet Kate confirmed to her that he'd told her the truth; for all these years he had patiently waited in the vain hope that she would one day forgive him.

"It was killing Elliot to see him like that. He was so angry with Christian for what he had done but Elliot loves him Ana..he loves his brother... " Kate said with uncharacteristic sadness, "You know my husband, Ana, he's like a bull in a china shop sometimes... Martha was single, Christian was single so he tried to set them up. He only wanted to see Christian happy again but Christian he... he wasn't having any of it. I can see now that he wanted you, only you. "

She had been so angry with him for so long; angry that he had cheated on her, that he hadn't contested the divorce, that he'd left her alone. The realisation hit her. He'd done everything that she'd asked of him after she'd discovered his affair...everything.

"Did you know that Christian got arrested?..." Kate continued oblivious to Ana's inner turmoil

"He told me he's got into a little trouble with the police..."

"Did he tell you why?"

"He said it had been a while ago, that there had been a misunderstanding and that it had soon been cleared up."

"Ana he was arrested for DUI! He also trashed his office so totally that it took weeks for them to repair the damage.."

"What?"

"Carrick managed to clear the matter with the police but after that day he changed...became more like the old Christian...more determined."

"When did this happen?"

"A seven months ago."

Ana racked her brain for events that had happened during that year...

"Shit...Richard!"

"Steele?"

"I was dating Richard seven months ago."

Kate remained painfully silent for what seemed to be an eternity before answering, "Well, that would certainly be one way to cause him to blow a gasket!"

Her stomach flipped.

Christian couldn't bear to lose her...the thought of her with someone else had caused him to fight for what was his. She knew then that she had not stood a chance. Once Christian Grey makes up his mind, nothing will stop him.

_'Oh fifty..._..' Her stupid, idiotic, mercurial, stalkerish, gorgeous, sexy fifty.

Hers and no one else's.

"Wipe that smile off your face Steele!" Kate laughed , instantly lightening the mood.

"How did you..."

"So tell me," Kate quickly changed the subject, "You gonna say yes to him or what?"

"I have no idea _what _you are talking about Kavanagh." Ana feigned ignorance.

"The marriage proposal!"

"Again, how do you know? ...Oh wait...Elliot?"

"Got that in one sister." She heard Elliot laugh.

"Does your husband have a mute button and does he have to know everything?" She giggled in response, "No scrap that. Elliot have you been listening to this whole conversation?"

"Hell yeah little lady. It's like watching Dallas!"

Ana could not help but smile at her brother-in-law.

Ex-brother-in-law.

"So do you and Christian talk about everything you big oaf?" She asked affectionatley.

"Put it this way sexy lady, I know the color of the panties you're wearing today..."

"PERV" Both her and Kate yelled in unison.

"Jeez! I was joking..."

"So, it could work in reverse?"

"Yeeeesssss" Elliot said, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Well, then I need you to do something for me..."

Before telling them both about her idea.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: It's been a long time coming...**

**The characters belong to E.L. James, Black Falcon belongs to Michelle Valentine, Megan & Kip belong to me and Dave, well Netzel Fanfiction share custody. I get him on weekends.**

**Big shout out to all the girls on Fifty Shades of Grey Fan Fiction on Facebook and to everyone who has messaged (read hassled LOL) me to update this is for you.**

**A word of warning. I have an awful lot going on at the moment (including health issues) and I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again.**

It had been some time since Laura Saunders had last seen the bright lights of a large city; in fact it had been a long time since she had been a brunette or had even used her real name, Megan. In another life time she had been someone else; someone she had not been proud of. Quite frankly, neither had her momma nor the rest of her large, loving family. She now liked to think of the girl she once was as an entirely different person.

Four years ago this girl thought she had been in love. Hell, she believed that she had been in love with a very powerful, very rich, very handsome and very married man. Together, they had torn apart a family.

The guilt had all but crippled her.

Megan had been raised in a good Christian household. She attended church every Sunday and before she had left home for college, her momma had warned her about men and how dangerous they could be. Megan had sworn to her beloved mother that she would heed her advice and avoid the temptations that came with living away from home for the first time. She had not known, at the time, that her momma was slowly, painfully, dying.

For six long years Evelyn Tate had fought the cancer that raged through her body, tooth and nail. The indomitable Mrs Tate had finally lost her brave battle eight months after Megan had all but destroyed not only her lover's family but her own. She would be forever convinced that her loving, sweet, beautiful momma had given up her fight after the shameful affair with Christian Grey.

Never, in a million years, did she think that the exceedingly handsome, gray eyed CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings would pay her a, fresh out of college, intern any attention. She had been wrong...very very wrong.

From the moment that Megan had first stepped in to his office and had nearly spilt his coffee everywhere, she had been infatuated. Of course, she had seen his pictures in magazines but the photos really did not do him any justice... he was a god.

Like many a young, naïve, silly girl before her, Megan's head had been turned.

Both her and the sexy Mr Grey had managed to keep their mutual attraction under control for a while. Until one fateful night, when he asked her to attend a business seminar with him. Megan was in no way a virgin but never had she experienced sex like she had with Christian Grey.

Afterwards, Christian had excused himself to the bathroom; she had sworn that she had heard him cry...

Yet, they could not keep away from each other. For six weeks the affair lasted and with each passing day they had grown more and more reckless.

Then, suddenly, Christian told her it was over.

He said he loved his wife; he said that he had made a mistake. They had been discovered; their sordid relationship splashed all over the gossip columns; everyday brought something worse than the day before; press camped outside her apartment, being called a whore at the market, Christian telling her that he never loved her...

What had finally broken her had been the picture of the gaunt and forlorn Anastasia Grey holding young Teddy and Phoebe Grey's tiny hands; she looked truly heart broken. Yet, the magazine had proclaimed Mrs Grey a 'gold digger' and stated that it had somehow been all her own fault.

Megan did not want to think of Ana Grey was the innocent party in the whole sorry mess, she wanted to think of her as the other woman. Yet on seeing this photograph of a broken woman and two, tiny innocents the voice of her conscience, which had long been surpressed, had finally make itself heard, "YOU DID THIS TO THEM!".

It was on that day that Megan tate died, killed by her guilty conscience; Laura Saunders emerged in her place... and then she ran and ran and ran, until she reached Atchison, Kansas. Certainly not a large city with its population of 11,021 but large enough to be hide, to start again.

Laura had learnt a cold hard lesson and she would not make the same mistake twice.

And so her new life began...

xxxxxxxxxx

Today was one of those painfully slow afternoons that dragged on forever at the dive where she worked; Prickle Backed Urchin's Bar and Grill, was a mainstay of the local community. Laura hadn't a clue where the greasy-haired, comb-over sporting, overweight owner, Dave had got that crazy-assed name for the bar from. Seth her gorgeous (and mercifully single) co-worker, reckoned that it was British word from somewhere called Sussex meaning Hedgehog; an animal for which Dave had an curious and quite frankly disturbing fondness for.

Seth and her had spent the best part of three hours of their shift flirting outrageously with each other. Tall, green eyed, dark haired , tattooed; Seth was sex on legs in her honest opinion and yet he had not made a move on her. Laura was pretty sure that slimy snake Dave had something to do with it. He'd given her a lecture the other week about the not dating co-workers before smacking her on the ass and stating that the policy 'didn't extend to the boss'. She'd nearly choked on her glass of Cola before making her excuses to be sick in the bathroom.

"Penny for you thoughts sexy?" Seth drawled from behind the bar.

"Just thinking..."

"About what?"

"Life."

"Deep, real deep Sugar." He laughed as she threw the cloth that she had been cleaning the bar with. His face suddenly turned serious, "So I was wondering what you were doing tonight after work? Wanna catch a band over in Wichita? Black Falcon are playing..." He looked down at the floor and shuffled nervously before looking back up at her with those emerald green eyes.

_'Oh my God YES YES YES!... play it cool...play it cool."_

Swearing she was blushing, she met his gaze and tucked stray hair behind her ear before answering.

"Sure, why not."

His answering panty dropping grip made her catch her breath... Dave had to go an ruin the moment.

"Turn the fuckin' TV up... she is one mighty fine piece of ass. I'd do her..."

Laura looked up to see who Dave was drooling over and nearly dropped the glass she was holding.

For there on the TV was Christian and Ana Grey, hand in hand looking happy. In-fact, Ana was positively glowing. The picture underneath the caption read _**'New Grey on the Way?'**_

She felt a pair of string arms wrap around her, "They look good together, don't they." Seth whispered in her ear.

Laura turned in his arms and smiled up at him, "Yes...yes they do."


End file.
